I find it difficult to look forward to my future without reflecting on my past. Applying myself in the classroom has always been a challenge for me, and while I love socializing and the experiences that school can offer, I suppose I just always found myself loathing homework and half-assing most every assignment that came my way. I never took school seriously – after all, neither of my parents went to college and they are two of the most intelligent individuals I know. Surely that luck would rub off on me, right? Or at least so I had hoped. Recalling, my high school self feels almost alienating. Now that I am able to look back at me and my life during that time, it helps me recognize a huge reason for my lack of care. To put it nicely, I wasn’t good at school subjects... or at least that’s what it felt like. While I am able to focus and apply myself to a lot more now, I do not want to overlook that once prominent feeling. The feeling of not being smart enough, the feeling of hating school. It just seems so silly to me now – hate school? Hate knowledge? Hate mental growth? Like I said before, these perceptions at one time consumed my mind, thoughts, and overall action towards anything education related.

             I was/am the type of chick who was good at growing things, climbing trees, juggling, laughing, cooking, or throwing a football. For the longest my older brother, Zeke, called me ‘a bag of tricks’ – and I loved that. I remember the first time he said it to me, I felt like a joker of all trades, an all-encompassing entertainment being, and I loved it. When the time came around to graduate high school and begin figuring out the next chapter of my life, I seriously considered circus school – shoot, I’m still considering circus school. Anyway, I felt sort of lost, I felt forced to pick something to do for the rest of my life – and that’s a scary feeling. I knew that I wanted to be level headed though, that I didn’t want to just run away and join the circus, or stop developing/challenging my brain – most of all I knew I wanted the college social experience. I remember one day I was killing time after school, and I ran into a middle aged man dressed in a snazzy suit walking the hallways. Naturally, I struck up a conversation and before I knew it 20 minutes had gone by. Once he realized how long it had been, he began to freak out because he was now running late to his interview. A month or two later, I saw the same man in the same hallway, he immediately pulled me aside and more formally introduced himself as the new hired superintendent of New Buffalo Schools. He went on to tell me how impressed he was with my comfortability, confidence, poise, and word choice when we had briefly met before. I came away from it thinking that he was right, I’ve never had an issue with talking. Whether it be with a 6-year-old or a 60-year-old, I had always been good at gauging my jargon towards whatever the situation might be. Boom, a Communication Studies major was born.

            Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble – and this fact doesn’t sit lightly with me. This is monumental. We cannot not communicate. No matter who or where you are, it is an undeniable and a definable trait that mandates itself every single day – thinking about this excites me. Verbal or nonverbal, intentional or nonintentional, we all do it. The art of conversation is mostly overlooked and I think it is because it’s something that is so natural and reoccurring; similar to breathing or blinking. I have found that whatever is it that I end up doing in this life, I must communicate effectively. Intention and clearly stated motives are critical to growth, especially when dealing with girlfriends, boyfriends, peers, etc. …And the best thing is, you don’t have to be good at it. As a human it is in our DNA and that is enough to rock my socks.

             However, the older I become, the more essential it becomes to successfully communicate to others. Correspondingly, the older I get the more creative I find myself becoming with my communication skills. When we communicate under typical circumstances we tend to follow patterns. These patterns are the result of family, peers, organizational affiliations, and culture. The issue with interacting using said conditioned patterns is communication becomes far less effective. In working and learning conditions or when establishing relationships with different groups or cultures; a person will inevitably find his or herself in a situation where these communication patterns are not the best option. It is here that we need to be creative when communicating. We must remain open-mined, flexible, curious, optimistic, non-judgmental, and imaginative. Learning to let the situation and circumstances dictate the approach allows for better communication, planning, and adaptive conversation habits to be made. Whether it is in relationships with colleagues or in family contexts, the quality of communication with others depends on the quality of thought. To think more in favor of possibilities than limiting the thinking with the normative rules established by upbringing, education, or culture, is a fundamental element for rich and stimulating communication. This is the same logic that politicians, actors, spokespersons, and visual artists use to be at their best.

            I know in front of the class I said I wanted to be a copy-writer someday, but honestly I just want to couch surf my way around the world; meeting, learning, exploring, studying, absorbing, people and places and all things foreign to me. I plan on taking my liberally educated mind and letting it bloom in the abyss of life. Studying communication for the past 5 years has given me the tools to confidently assert myself, to use my words as pillars, and to allow my mind to remain curious through it all. A method I plan on always using to improve my communication creativity, is to be curious. Always curious. I want to know and experience as much as possible. The more I am willing to learn about/from everything around me, the more sources I will have to draw inspiration from. I plan to face life unafraid, because I can never be certain what opportunities for growth I am losing by avoiding something or someone because it is different. If I could tell high school self anything, it would be to embrace that bag of tricks. Always be looking for another trade to add, and dammit, carry that bag proudly! To be creative doesn’t mean to literally make something, it means to broaden and expand the walls of your mind, your words, and your lifestyle. I vow to remember this, forever.

Words are powerful, and so am I.

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